“Huge crowd gathers to watch ISIS throw gay man off building”

Preface: There are so many awful stories in the news, and to try to comprehend, to fathom what I see and hear, to humanize the murders, the tortures, the hatred, I am beginning a series where I put myself in the story and try to imagine what the person was going through. The result of that is here. This is not supposed to be what this man felt, but rather a rendition of what I would feel were I in the same situation.

It was just a kiss.
A heart-racing, eye-widening, soul-splitting kiss, but just a kiss all the same.
I should have known better.
I don’t know how they found out.
Nothing is safe.
Here I am, the consequence of one moment of weakness.
A message of hatred.
God, why?
The rope burns on my wrist and the heat scalding my skin are no match for my mind.
They are leading me to my death.
I am a good man. I give, I help, I love.
I love.
They wish to destroy me.
They will destroy me.
I think I’m on the roof now.
They’re talking all around me, but I can’t make out the words.
I am going to die for my love.
I do not want this, it is no heroic gesture – no one will stop them.
A sharp command, they grab my arm.
I am on the edge.
They share their message.
I’m overcome with the urge to jump right there, to shatter their vision of how this should go, but the self-preservation wins out, I hold onto life for just a bit more.
I know it is coming before I feel it.
My body is flailing through the air.
I am reminded of the steep drop of my favorite roller coaster.
His face flashes before my eyes,
disappearing in flames upon impact.
No one will ever know my fear, my pain, my promise.
No one will ever know me.

“Huge crowd gathers to watch ISIS throw gay man off building”

Drown in Love

Sometimes
I look into your ocean eyes,
hoping to drown.

The world is raging
and debating
and hating,
because we love.

Baby, I always knew we were something,
but we’re kinda famous.

Our life is in the minds and mouths
of every home in America.
They think they get a say
in our future.

Is it just me,
or does this feel like
the family members we don’t like
trying to plan our wedding?

Let’s run away–
isn’t it crazy that we have to run from
the country so many are running to?

But when I look into 0your eyes, girl,
they aren’t there to tell me
it’s not okay.
When my lips touch yours,
they’re not there to tell me
I’m going to hell.
When I trace your lifelines,
they’re not there to tell me
that forever only exists
if I’m with a man.
They don’t get it, baby.

It’s not them.
It’s only me
and you.

Drown in Love