Meditations of a grill-man, McDonald’s, 5:07 a.m.

I wanted to die once.
I was younger then, I wanted to end
the helplessness.
It never ends.
If there’s a God,
do you think He holds it against me?
Will He end my life sooner
because I dared to take it for granted?

I still feel that helplessness.
I spend my life serving others
and wonder how it really matters,
what value do I have?
Years of grease have soaked into
my clothes, my skin, my soul.
My time is measured by the
number of seconds it takes to make a Big Mac.
What kind of life is that?

I thought this was temporary, once.
I was younger then, I had ambitions
and I believed in myself.
There’s not much left to believe in.
If there’s a God,
do you think He holds it against me?
Will He end my life sooner,
because I dared to take it for granted?

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Meditations of a grill-man, McDonald’s, 5:07 a.m.

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