Close your eyes.

Blue skies are my lullabies.
Rainbows the silver lining in my thunderstorm world.
Lightning-shattered dreaming.
Tell me I’ll wake up.
Tell me it’s not real.
Tell me my fragility is a misconception, a slip of perception, I’ve no imperfection, no flaw.
Lie to me, so simply, do it gracefully, mercy mercy me.
Words reaching out to some understanding, hidden away by the secrecy of a webpage, what do I want to say?
God, I’m human.
The blood running through my veins is contained only by skin, the heart pumping it will stop when it is destined, the thoughts in my mind will come and go until I am no more.
Tell me that’s not scary.
Give me reason to believe that the entirety of existence is beautiful. It is. I know it is.
But convince me. I want to know that I’m living. I want to know that there’s some method to madness, some resolution to the confusion.
I’m not seeking an end, but a solution. I don’t want to quit, but a new beginning. I want to know.
How many people are feeling lonely tonight? How many are contemplating their life? How many are trying to find the will to live? Trying to find someone to help them, some reason to continue…the things you’d think are rare aren’t so rare after all.
How many are suffering? How many crying? How many need someone like me, like you? Such a simple action, just to reach out and say don’t worry. I’m a stranger, but I know what you’re feeling. We’re not all that different, really. All need to feel important, to feel wanted and loved and worthy. We all have our doubts and our fears, we’re all imperfect. We’re going to be okay though, you know? I’ll tell you.
There are better days coming for us. Days that hold sunshine and smiles. Days where we don’t doubt life, or fear death, or wonder how we can hurt so many and be hurt by so many. I know you’re feeling blue, but breathe. I know you’re feeling lost, but believe. Fight yourself, fight your enemies, fight your friends, fight the world, do what you can with what you have. You can live. You can be. You can aspire and seek and dream.
And you can cry. You can hurt. You can feel how you feel, because that’s what’s real. But don’t let that define you. Know who you are and who you want to be. Try to understand why you do what you do and feel how you feel. Try to better yourself. Try to help others. Try to let them see that it’s okay. It’s okay to be afraid. To feel low and wretched and wrong. You’re entitled. I’m entitled. We’re entitled. But don’t forget that you’re better than that. We’re better than our weakness. We’re better than our flaws. We’re better than we are. Keep improving. Let yourself cry, but don’t forget to smile. Lash out, but always apologize. Don’t lose sight of what matters in life. Take a step back. Relax. We’re gonna be okay. I promise you, there’s some good in every bad and some bad in every good. You just have to be able to ignore it during good times, and maximize it in bad. And it’s not easy. It’s a lifelong practice, and you still won’t get it right. But we aren’t supposed to get everything right. We’re human, you and I. We’re supposed to mess up. It’ll suck. It’ll hurt. Yourself and others. But, it’ll pass. It always passes.
So the nightmares are waking me from sleep, and I can’t find a way to convince my eyes to close.
I’m shaking and alone in the darkest way and time, I’m not even sure that I can see my own light.
But, some nights you can’t see the stars, or the moon. They’re there. Always and forever, shining clearly somewhere, for someone else to see.
I’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.
Convince me that the world is going to keep on turning, that the gravity is going to keep my feet on the ground, that the sun will rise and set and remind me that there are things bigger than myself or you or anyone else in play. Call it chance or circumstance, call it God or science or something undecided. There’s no arguing.
We aren’t the only thing going on this planet. There’s more than our existence. There’s more than our lives.
So, we can get downhearted and we can feel what we feel. But we need to remember that there’s more than us. There’s more than me and you. And that’s why we’re going to be okay. Because when push comes to shove, we don’t matter all that much anyway.

Close your eyes.

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