I’ve tried to find resolution, searched for paths that take me somewhere new, but I always end up right back at square one.
I care too much. I worry too much. I love too much. And the excess of these things is what will be the end of me.
I never though there could be too much compassion, but such a thing exists. It’s when you care so much for others that you consistently put them above yourself.
It doesn’t work out. Because people are going to hurt you, even if they don’t mean to. And all you really have is you. You’ll get close to people, and I guarantee it’ll end in pain. Because when you care about others then you’re setting yourself up for failure. They are going to come across obstacles that you can’t help them face, they’re going to have problems that you can’t fix, and that helplessness is pure insanity.
And so I here I stand. Overcome by emotion of my complete and absolute inability to fix anything. My life has become a whirlwind of chaos and I’m holding tight until the winds settle down. Because I can’t stop mother nature, and I can’t change these things that aren’t in my control.
And I’m alone. I’m alone in accepting that I can’t do anything, I’m alone in forcing myself to sit idly and watch, I’m alone in keeping everything from falling apart. These are things that people can’t help me with. These are things that, no matter how much they suck, I have to do absolutely and entirely alone.
But being lost, it’s a part of life.
It’s one of those things that you have to go through, multiple times.
I’ll find my way.